• Home
• Watch Tributes
• Add Video
• Add Music
• Books & Speakers
• Dear Maddy
• Tribute Film Festival

Latest Posts

• Dear Maddy

  Tag >> Funeral Planning

  Oct 01

  Contemplating Pre-Need

  Pre-Need, Funeral Planning

  Dear Maddy,

  My wife and I are thinking about buying pre-need funerals and burial plots because of the savings involved. The problem is we don't know if we'll stay in our hometown. Our children have all moved to other parts of the country. And we might decide to retire to a warmer climate. What should we do?

  Signed, Contemplating Pre-Need

  
  

  Dear Contemplating Pre-Need,

  The good news on pre-needs is that policy transfers from one state to another state are becoming more accessible. Be sure to check with your funeral home, insurance agent, and/or your state's funeral directors association for assurance and any loopholes as the laws are state-specific. Pre-Need can be a great way to lock in prices now for services, caskets, and burial plots... just make sure that your policy allows for changes you may or may not anticipate.

  To Life, Maddy Banks

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  Sep 25

  Front Row Only

  Funeral Planning, Etiquette

  Dear Maddy:

  My husband and I paid a lot of money for a burial plot to be next to Al Jolson. Thirty years later, and we're getting a divorce. So... who gets the plot?

  Signed, Front Row Only

   

  Dear Front Row Only,

  This is something you to discuss with your divorce attorney. Or if possible, have a heart to heart discussion with your husband about it so you can come to amicable terms and both of you can rest in peace wherever you land. Determine how important it is for you to be near Al, after all, you may meet someone else and it may become more important for you to be near that partner.

   

  To Life, Maddy

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  Sep 19

  Jazzy Wife

  Funeral Planning, Etiquette

  Dear Maddy,

  My 87 year old husband loves jazz. He is a member of the local Jazz Society and often shows up at events with a suitcase of music. He does this so often that many hosts simply wait for his arrival rather than hire a local band or DJ. My husband is now in hospice with little time left on this earth, and I find myself preparing for his funeral. I want to play his favorite songs on loudspeakers at the service, including Duke Ellington as his casket is rolled down the aisle, but I'm afraid our local funeral director who believes that anything but church music is undignified will object or that I may offend people. What shall I do? And what else can I do to honor him?

  Signed, Jazzy Wife

   

  Dear Jazzy Wife,

  By all means celebrate the life of your beloved husband. I can't imagine any funeral director objecting to your wishes. Remember, funeral directors, on the whole, are some of the most compassionate people you will ever meet. Their job is to help you with the final arrangements. And, as with anything in life, don't let others dictate your wishes. I'm sure they will go out of their way to accommodate you. Arrange a time to meet, perhaps at the hospice, and clearly explain your wishes. As for other ways to honor your husband, you could hire a videographer to videotape him talking about his passion for jazz and sharing some parting words which you could play at the funeral as well. Perhaps you could pass out his favorite CDs with his name on them as remembrance gifts. You may want to also have a trumpet or saxophone player present to perform his favorite tunes. Or you could have the local Jazz Society play some tunes. Any or all of these options should create a wonderful and memorable service in honor of your husband. If your husband is well enough, you might consider having a "living funeral" so he can fully appreciate the moment.

   

  To Life, Maddy Banks

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  Sep 18

  Seating for Equality

  Funeral Planning, Etiquette

  Dear Maddy:

  I want to arrange the seating at my father's funeral so everyone feels comfortable. My relatives are very sensitive as to their placement. How do I make everyone feel equally important?

  Signed, Seating for Equality

   

  Dear Seating for Equality,

  Create "seating in the round." This way you do away with any sense of hierarchy. Just make sure those who are speaking about your father remember to turn around and face everyone. Your local funeral director should be able to accommodate you.

   

  To Life, Maddy

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  Mar 07

  Between Here and There

  Funeral Planning

  Dear Maddy,

  I travel the world; call me a wander lust baby boomer with no religious affiliation. When asked where I live, I reply Terminal 3 at Chicago's O'Hare Airport. My close friends and relatives are scattered around the globe. I want to plan ahead for my end of life celebration, but so far, I can't even figure out the "where" of it. Can you help?

  Signed, Between Here & There

   

  Dear Between Here & There,

  You seem like an ideal candidate for a Virtual Memorial. Yes, the Internet offers the opportunity for virtual funeral services where family and friends from around the globe can attend your service... online. You can have your obituary written and ready to go (see: Tributes.com, the new free obituary portal). You can have a pre-recorded tribute video ready to play. You can write emails with parting words ready to be sent upon demise. That said with respect to modern technology, the gifts of bereavement still bare the importance of a community of friends and family to come together to support each other and to grieve openly with one another. And for that, I would suggest a ceremony in the sky, perhaps in a private airplane or at an Airplane Museum.

   

  To Life, Maddy Banks

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  Mar 06

  Atheist with Achilles Heel

  Religion, Funeral Planning

  Dear Maddy:

  In the recent decade, I have become a lapsed Catholic and opted for atheism. I now have no religion but would like to purchase a pre-need funeral for myself so as not to burden my family. I'd like a funeral service but without clergy. Is there a non-denominational person I can plan ahead with who can preside? How would I find this person? And what happens if they expire before I do?

  Signed, Atheist with an Achilles Heel

   

  Dear Atheist with an Achilles Heel,

  There are indeed non-denominational professionals known as certified funeral celebrants who can cover for you. Your local funeral director should be able to coordinate the details for you as part of your pre-need package. Should the certified funeral celebrant expire before you do, your local funeral home will be able to obtain an appropriate replacement for you.

   

  To Life, Maddy

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  Feb 15

  Prevention Method Ceremony

  Funeral Planning, Ceremony

  Dear Maddy:

  My daughter, an outspoken birth control advocate, was killed in a car accident. My relatives are very provincial mid-westerners. My daughter's best friend, a renowned abstract artist, wants to drape the casket with a giant wreath made out of condoms and diaphragms. Should I allow this? And how would I explain this to my relatives? Signed, Prevention Method Ceremony

   

  Dear Prevention Method Ceremony,

  Look deep inside your heart for what you believe your daughter would want and honor that. Is it something she would have appreciated having? Or would it be more appropriate to hang the wreath in a non-partisan location, i.e., the lobby by the memory posters, thereby honoring the actions of the artist friend and diffusing its potentially controversial impact. If, however, you believe this is something your daughter would have appreciated, then by all means go for it and simply tell your relatives that it would have made your daughter smile.

   

  To Life, Maddy

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

Footer

• 
  
  
  Copyright 2007 The Tribute Network      Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy | About | Advertise on TTN | Contact Us