• Home
• Watch Tributes
• Add Video
• Add Music
• Books & Speakers
• Dear Maddy
• Tribute Film Festival

Latest Posts

• Dear Maddy

  Sep 16

  Ashes that Glitter

  Remains

  Dear Maddy:

  A friend admired a necklace I always wear; the kind of friend who is spooked by the mere mention of ghosts. She asked me to get her the same necklace for her birthday. I was too embarrassed and afraid I might induce her to faint if I told her my necklace is the carbonized remains of my dead husband. Should I get her a necklace anyway with some of the leftover cremated remains of my husband? Of course, I might feel weird about him hanging around the neck of another woman. If I do go ahead with this, what happens if she finds out she's wearing a piece of my husband?

  Signed, Ashes that Glitter

   

  Dear Ashes that Glitter,

  You can avoid a lot of unnecessary drama by having some smelling salts handy and simply telling your friend the truth and that you're not comfortable sharing your husband in that way. This way, you don't lose any sleep over your dead husband's infidelity that you put him up to. If you're embarrassed about wearing him around your neck, tell your friend it was a one of kind diamond necklace and they just don't make them like that anymore. The idea of turning a loved one into a diamond necklace is indeed novel, but so was having sperm donor babies until demographics outweighed social criticism. So, be comfortable with your choices because you've only got one life to live, as far as we know.

   

  To Life, Maddy

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  Mar 07

  Between Here and There

  Funeral Planning

  Dear Maddy,

  I travel the world; call me a wander lust baby boomer with no religious affiliation. When asked where I live, I reply Terminal 3 at Chicago's O'Hare Airport. My close friends and relatives are scattered around the globe. I want to plan ahead for my end of life celebration, but so far, I can't even figure out the "where" of it. Can you help?

  Signed, Between Here & There

   

  Dear Between Here & There,

  You seem like an ideal candidate for a Virtual Memorial. Yes, the Internet offers the opportunity for virtual funeral services where family and friends from around the globe can attend your service... online. You can have your obituary written and ready to go (see: Tributes.com, the new free obituary portal). You can have a pre-recorded tribute video ready to play. You can write emails with parting words ready to be sent upon demise. That said with respect to modern technology, the gifts of bereavement still bare the importance of a community of friends and family to come together to support each other and to grieve openly with one another. And for that, I would suggest a ceremony in the sky, perhaps in a private airplane or at an Airplane Museum.

   

  To Life, Maddy Banks

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  Mar 06

  Atheist with Achilles Heel

  Religion, Funeral Planning

  Dear Maddy:

  In the recent decade, I have become a lapsed Catholic and opted for atheism. I now have no religion but would like to purchase a pre-need funeral for myself so as not to burden my family. I'd like a funeral service but without clergy. Is there a non-denominational person I can plan ahead with who can preside? How would I find this person? And what happens if they expire before I do?

  Signed, Atheist with an Achilles Heel

   

  Dear Atheist with an Achilles Heel,

  There are indeed non-denominational professionals known as certified funeral celebrants who can cover for you. Your local funeral director should be able to coordinate the details for you as part of your pre-need package. Should the certified funeral celebrant expire before you do, your local funeral home will be able to obtain an appropriate replacement for you.

   

  To Life, Maddy

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  Feb 29

  Resurrected

  Friendship, Coping

  Dear Maddy:

  My best friend from college and I both lost our spouses around the same time. A year has passed and I have started to date while she still dresses in black and rarely socializes. I encourage her to go out, but she says she's not ready and implies that I'm being unfaithful. I feel terrible guilt, yet I want to meet someone and fall in love again. We have a long history of friendship and I don't want to lose her. What should I do?

  Signed, Resurrected

   

  Dear Resurrected,

  Healing from grief is a very personal process and everyone gets to heal to on their timeline, not someone else's. Your timeline is not your friends and hers is not yours. Helping a friend heal from grief, as well as oneself, requires endless compassion and a total lack of judgment. There is no reason for you to feel guilty. Your response to begin living life again is healthy and normal and works for you on your timeline. Practice loving patience with your friend while you continue to move on with your life. When she's ready, welcome her with open arms. If her grief continues to persist and turn into chronic depression, then advise her to seek professional help and/or join a grief support group.

   

  To Life, Maddy

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  Feb 15

  Prevention Method Ceremony

  Funeral Planning, Ceremony

  Dear Maddy:

  My daughter, an outspoken birth control advocate, was killed in a car accident. My relatives are very provincial mid-westerners. My daughter's best friend, a renowned abstract artist, wants to drape the casket with a giant wreath made out of condoms and diaphragms. Should I allow this? And how would I explain this to my relatives? Signed, Prevention Method Ceremony

   

  Dear Prevention Method Ceremony,

  Look deep inside your heart for what you believe your daughter would want and honor that. Is it something she would have appreciated having? Or would it be more appropriate to hang the wreath in a non-partisan location, i.e., the lobby by the memory posters, thereby honoring the actions of the artist friend and diffusing its potentially controversial impact. If, however, you believe this is something your daughter would have appreciated, then by all means go for it and simply tell your relatives that it would have made your daughter smile.

   

  To Life, Maddy

  Read More...

  Comment (0)

  << Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>

Footer

• 
  
  
  Copyright 2007 The Tribute Network      Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy | About | Advertise on TTN | Contact Us